Individual Therapy

Something Keeps Pulling You Back Into the Same Patterns

Patterns that keep repeating are interesting things.

They’re survival mechanisms, ingrained to do exactly that: survive abuse.

They set in fast and unconsciously, because your body decided you had to survive something, or in most cases someone.

They still feel safe, because they kept you safe.

They came into existence through trauma, so they seem airtight.

You feel hopeless about them, and most days helpless against them.

Underneath sits the question that keeps you from letting go: if you drop the defenses, how will you keep going?

You’ll keep going, and you’ll finally do it as yourself.

Of course you are.

Control is what helped you survive, and the fear of losing it is a natural, normal response to trauma.

Sometimes the head gets in the way of the work.

It convinces you you’re fine.

Just work harder. Be better. Do better.

Keep quiet, keep your head down, and you’ll be fine.

In essence, pull yourself up by your bootstraps.

The external checklist is no indicator that you’re fine, particularly when it doesn’t line up with your insides, which are crying for help.

I work alongside you to integrate the wounded parts of you that had to be silenced to survive.

Together we do the work of integrating the wounded child who had to split to survive.

We make sense of the senseless.

None of it gets rushed, because trust comes first and the rest I let evolve naturally.

I call it the ABC’s.

Awareness breeds change, and without awareness, change can’t happen.

Work this deep usually takes a year or more, and you’ll hear that from me now instead of finding it out later.

Change is scary, because it exposes the parts of you that you don’t like.

The parts of you that were shamed, and that you still shame.

Shame has a voice, and it needs to come forward.

You get to be free of the relentless voice telling you that you’re not enough.

I’m with you every step of the way.

You set the pace, and I follow.

Ten minutes on the phone is enough to tell me what keeps repeating, and to find out whether I’m the right person to help you change it.

Ten minutes on the phone will tell you most of what you need to know about whether I'm the right person for this.

There's no script for that call, so ask me anything you want.